“Mom, if you’re ever standing on a dragon’s head and he’s flying … well, that’s a bad idea.”
- Tiger (Age 5)

Kat: “It’s okay…. I know some karate moves!”

Said in response to George telling Bear to stop hitting Kat over the head with a toy.

(Kat’s homeschool PE class recently finished their third, and last, class in karate. Apparently they learned defensive moves that can be used when you are being attacked by a two year old.)

To set the scene: Tiger was sitting at the table drinking sweet tea and eating his dinner. (In a regular chair, not the higher red chairs they sometimes sit it.) All of a sudden we see him fall out of his chair, somehow managing to pull the chair on top of him, landing on his crotch. (Poor guy!) After ensuring he is all right, this is what I hear:

George: Buddy, the only way you could fall out of your chair like that is if you weren’t sitting in it properly. (Either that or you’ve had WAY too much to drink.)
Tiger: Hmmm…..I think maybe it’s because I’ve had WAY too much tea to drink.

Kat: Can you help me open this package?
Mom: Sure, but it says this is only for kids 8 and up. You are only 7 and a half.
Kat: Yeah, but I’m sure I can do it. It’s not like I’m 6 or anything.

Tiger: Mommy, I love you up to outer space and back googol times.

He can sure be a sweetie at times!

Mom: I have a secret number. It’s bigger than 7 and smaller than 9. What is it?
Tiger: 8! My turn. I have a secret number. It’s bigger than 1 and smaller than … (thinking)… a googol. What is it?

Despite practically infinite possibililities, I guessed the secret number on my second guess. It was 100.

(Note: This was published on Friday, but we had some technical difficulties. Hopefully you can see it now.)

Earlier in the week she was playing with her doll when one of the older kids said something to the other about a booger. Bear’s eyes lit up as she demonstrated to all of us that she knew what they were talking about. She put her finger IN her nose and repeated “Boo-er, boo-er.” Lovely. George and I exchange glances and then I return my gaze to the Bear, who is now putting the same finger INTO her doll’s mouth! Ughh!

Tiger, I DON’T think it’s a good idea to pick your nose with a sword. – Daddy

“Mommy, how ’bout this be the last time I throw the ball to you? And then you throw the ball to me and how ’bout that be the last time you throw the ball to me? And then you can go back and finish putting the dishes in the dishwasher… And I’ll help you.”

I kid you not, my son spoke those words today. He also followed through with his offer to help me load the dishwasher. All totally unprovoked.

There’s a small pitcher in the frig that the kids use to fill their water cups when they are thirsty. George and I don’t use it often so I forget about it. Thinking it would be a nice mommy thing to do, I give a little sigh and then reply that I can do that for him. The water currently in his bottle is poured out and the bottle is re-filled with cold frig water. The lid is screwed back on and I’m gathering up all the bottles when he adds one last request.

“… And five pieces of ice, too.”

I reply that we are running late. I’ve already filled his bottle with cold water and I just don’t have time to put five pieces of ice in too. He stops, thinks, and then replies as he walks out of the kitchen.

“Okay…..just four pieces of ice then.”